Dying Is Natural

s it me or do you just hate it when somebody dies and people will say if he did not smoke, drink, workaholic, underweight or overweight he would be here today? The only time I have not heard comments like these in those very unexplainable beyond reasoning times when it is a child.

The other thing I hate (my husband does not like me using the word hate because he thinks it is too strong a word) but I use that word because it is better then some unmentionable words I would use in their place. Let's see, where was I ? Oh yes, he or she looks good or she or he does not look like themselves. The person is dead and no one looks good dead.

My mother explained well sometimes the people do look good, the mortician did a good job or he did not. OK, so what we then are doing is rating the job a mortician is doing. Hey Joe, do not go to that funeral home, our friend Paul did not look anything like himself. Maybe some one should visit funeral homes and rate them like we do vacation spots.

I am not trying to make light of death but I believe that our Grandparents or depending on your age Parents knew that death was an inevitable part of life.

My Mother is astounded by my early childhood memories of death. This is why I feel fortunate not to have been sheltered from and have faced death at an early age. My first memory I would have been about 3 years old. It was a Great Uncle and I was with my Grandmother. This is where I have to say my Grandmother was the most perfect person I knew. Grandmother lifted me up to look in the Casket and I remember thinking he was sleeping. Grandma said, "Ruthie, you should be happy for him because he is in a better place." I asked Grandma why the people were crying ? Grandma said people are crying for themselves. Some of the people wish they would have talked with him more and some will miss him. The nice thing about being told this as a child is I unquestionably accepted the answer. Death in my mind was OK.

My second experience was with my surrogate Grandfather that was a neighbor. He was old and had time for me and gave me great candy. One day he did not come outside for our daily ritual, but his wife did and she told me he died. He had fell asleep while she was preparing lunch and did not wake up. She said it was a wonderful way to go. I did not understand that statement, but now that I am older it certainly carries more meaning.

The next experience I remember was being 10 years old and my cousin who was 12 lost her Father suddenly. That was the first time I felt fear. She was inseparable from her Dad as much as I was. Reality hit me that I could lose my Father. To this day I feel for a child who lost their parent too soon. I felt guilty still having a Dad. I also learned the gap 1 single human being leaves in so many peoples lives.

I have a friend who had to accept untimely deaths and is a survivor. One day she called me and out of the clear blue sky she says, "You know what I fear the most?" I said No, What? What if no one shows up to my funeral? I did not know she had plans of checking out. Finally, she resolved her own dilemma by saying her funeral would be held in a telephone booth then that way if only one person showed up it would be crowded.

Another friend told me her elderly grandparents were checking out the local funeral home, but decided it was not big enough for them.

Clearly people do think of death as an event that the dead person is attending. I never liked to think about it deeply. The older I get and the more deaths I have experienced made me stop and think. We all no matter who we are will die. Horrifying is it? It should not be if you are treating people the way you would if this was your last day.

I had a friend whose child wanted to go fishing in the worst way. My car broke down and much to my chagrin we allowed this mechanical device to change the day for fishing. That same little boy died and I realized we did not go a different day.

Are you doing the things you like to do or are you postponing things?

Ruth Bruegger lives in Rockton Illinois with her Husband Hans. Ruth has 4 grown children and eight grandchildren. Ruth has owned her own business for 15 years. She has attended the Eureka Ranch to learn marketing and was on the radio with Doug Hall. Ruth has been written up for Tourism ideas in a book written by the University of Wisconsin. She has her CIAO in Taxes. Ruth wrote political bios, church missions newsletter and the first History of Harlem Township. She was the first woman on the Zoning Board in Rockton IL, also served on the Village Board. She has won many business awards over the years as well as being chosen to receive a Volunteer Award. Ruths passion is checking out new and interesting places and people. Ruths latest vision is to bring the Creative Secrets of Rockton Roscoe and South Beloit to you no matter where you live. To learn more about Ruths journey go to http://www.creative-secrets-in-rockton-roscoe-south-beloit.com

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